Status Change: In A Relationship

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In life you’ll realize there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

I can remember being five years old and playing “Wedding.” I remember dancing with my very own prince charming to Dixie Chicks in my childhood home’s living room during my “reception” (I apparently had terrible taste in music at age five). Maybe I could blame all the Disney love stories and happy endings, but I don’t. I truthfully believe God made me slightly different. Ever since I was younger, I have been one to love with my whole heart and want the same back. Since age five, I have basically known what I want in a man. Sure, I decided to mark off some things off such as “he must share my love for Rugrats.” But, in all seriousness, as a child of God, I have known the type of love I have wanted to feel.

I have spent a large amount of my time weeding through men and nothing ever lasting. Through the piles, I had found a few good candidates. However, this week I just figured out why none of these relationships worked: a lack of religion or dedication to God.

As I became lonely in the past week, I began to yearn for the company of my ex. I have recently missed him miserably. I feel that is pretty normal after spending nearly four years with a person. However, as I yearned for him, I realized I used him as a crutch.

This realization led me to ponder why I feel I constantly need to be searching for my better half or feel the need to be in a relationship. My answers: I like having someone around and they are quite often my comfort/security when I am scared or anxious.

Next, I began to ponder why I don’t think I have found the person God has in store for me. This is where I began to truly evaluate myself. I put me in front of a mirror and came to a realization that I will hold onto for the rest of my life.

Right now, God should be filling that void that I have often tried to fill with men. And even when I do find someone, God should still be my first go to. I have been trying to put man before God. He should be my crutch and forever my emergeny lifeline.

Further, I evaluated where I have spent my time searching for my soul mate. How can I ever expect God to send me prince charming in a bar scene? This too led me to realize I am spending my time and energy in the wrong places.

As I begin my final college year, I am vowing to avoid alcohol and the party scene. I plan on fully dedicating this semester to my Lord and Savior, the love of my life.

I am in a committed relationship with God and quite frankly, it is the only relationship I really need.

I’ll refer back to my quote in the beginning of this post:

In life you’ll realize there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

For me, the relationships I have engaged in have had a purpose. Some have fully tested me, some have used me and all of them have taught me and ultimately, brought out the best in me.

x

Shae

3 Replies to “Status Change: In A Relationship”

  1. Have you read the book “Blue Like Jazz?” There’s a great chapter in there about relationships vs being alone. I think you’d like it.

  2. This is the second or third time I’ve read this. I keep coming back to it, because I’m in the process of finding the answers to those very important questions. It’s not easy and I don’t think I’m going to be able to in one day, but I do know that God will help me find them. I do believe that he has someone for me, but I think he knows I’m not ready for that yet. This post is just a good reminder of the only man that we need. A relationship that we’ll be in forever! Thanks for wise words Shae<3

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