If you’re the girl who looks at engagements on her timeline with envy, well you’re not alone. I was SO that girl. Every proposal announcement seemed to remind me of my singleness and added another thick layer to my internal bitterness. I wondered what the heck I was doing so wrong and questioned God a lot. In world where commitment becomes harder to find, I longed for that kind of promise from someone. I wanted it so bad. So I was dating and chasing and searching, but nothing felt right. I started to think I’d have to let go of some of things I thought were important. But when I realized that meant settling for less than what I felt I deserved, I decided a lifetime of singleness was better than a relationship that felt half right.
And so I took my single and picky butt and started focusing more on Jesus. I wish I could say this was easy, but it sure as heck wasn’t. We have had a lot of tough convos between then and now. But i can tell ya it was so worth it. And what I did learn is the only perfect love is His and the only promise worth putting your whole heart in is His promise of grace + eternal life.
So I put down my pen and let Jesus author my love story. Not long after God walked me right up to Joel (who had been under my nose for quite sometime). Y’all this man. I can honestly tell you, the first time I hung out with him, I knew. I even called my cousin after and said: I found my husband. He is literally better than anyone I could have picked for me.
Joel’s love for Jesus and his heart for others is so dang awesome. He was exactly what I was looking for all along. He’s exactly what I imagined him to be (and more). And he is exactly what I thought might be out there still..
I say all of this to tell you… girlfriend, hang tough. You deserve this kind of love and it is out there. Do what I should have done: replace that envy with hope and hang onto those values. His promises are true.